From Job Seeking to Being Found: The rippling effect of an email

This is the first blog of a series I am writing about how I went from working for a non-profit for 14 years to joining a new company. My hope is to capture more on the topics of personal discovery, mental health, navigating trauma while working, marriage and family, and, of course, job seeking will be sprinkled throughout.

Part 1: The Rippling Effect of an Email

I am amazed at how one email rippled out possibility like a stone hitting a pond…

I did not expect that I would be writing a blog post in November 2024 to share about the new job I will be embarking on in just 8 days from now. Upon discovering that my last maternity leave would be ending in September 2024, I was more concerned about how I would adjust back to working at all, let alone, returning to the company I had been at for 14 years.

I received an email in March 2024 that included an opportunity someone asked me to pass along to anyone I thought might be a good fit. I read it through and thought, “how about me?” The excitement that grew as I pondered how I could assist the company with the skills I had gained, what it would mean for our family life, the joy of something new… I did apply and was encouraged by how the process went even if it wasn’t the right timing for them to ultimately add a new team mate. I cannot forget what the recruiter said, “Maybe this will push the box walls down of how you think your gifts and skills can be used”.

Push the box walls down…. notice what you have to offer…. what do I have to offer? Who am I? It was like I was that surprised whale from Hitchhiker’s Guide to Galaxy who one has a short amount of time to figure out its existence before it hit the earth below… “What do I mean by ‘who am I’?

As my husband watched me discover the possibility of a different job, he shared his desire that I would be excited, joyful, and passionate again. He liked seeing this side of me again. I was surprised…. and then I looked again at my life and realized he was right.

In my next blog post… I will capture the next ripple of the journey – understanding how mental health and navigating crisis impacted my job decisions.

Queen of Tears = Me (Spoiler Alert)

Yesterday, I finished watching my 71st show from either Korea, Japan, or Thailand (mostly Korea). When I did the calculation for how many hours of TV that was from about March 2023 until now, I was shocked… and impressed.

Few of the dramas I have watched have caused me tears to flow for me… the first was Mr. Sunshine, the send was Daily Dose of Sunshine, and the third was Queen of Tears.

Mr. Sunshine is best described by Cyril Dason in a blog post with the keys words Guns, Glory, Sad Ending… and Glory again. I was on the edge of my seat for most of the drama and cried at the end. I appreciated the quiet romance and the beautiful filming made me long for Joseon to be protected (photo below is on the linked blog mentioned above). I highly recommend this drama if you like historical pieces and unpredictable outcomes.

Daily Dose of Sunshine does not give the watcher a break from the darkest moments of what a mental health struggle can look like. It has vivid imagery and greatly depicts the weight on the shoulders of nurses in a hospital psych ward. I appreciated the lessons I learned form this drama including those highlighted in a blog post from Wander with Jin titled 5 Life Lessons from Daily Dose of Sunshine. I used one of the techniques from the show to start my 2024 and I cover that in my recent newsletter (Click here to sign-up).

That brings us to Queen of Tears, which just concluded on April 28, 2024. At first glance, the show looks to be about a couple whose marriage has dismantled… it shows a rather harsh wife and a husband in tears regularly. Why would this make me cry so much?

Well… the wife is diagnosed with a brain tumor and it shows their journey towards her potential life or death as a result.

In 2016, just 6 months after our wedding, my own husband suddenly needed brain surgery. He lost his medium-term memory (his words) which included our wedding, honeymoon, and memories from about a year or so before surgery.

Queen of Tears was cathartic for me in many ways – I got to see the roles reversed for husband and wife surrounding a crisis requiring brain surgery, I was able to see what it could have looked like if the memory loss possibility was known ahead of time, and it gave lots of inspiration for us to discuss the past and our marriage.

I look forward to watching many more dramas and am hoping that I again find tears that bring healing for other past experiences or a fresh perspective.

Planning Ahead…

As I ponder the next 10 months not working my day job, it has really opened up my mind and passion for my business: The Tangled Artist CZT.

I was watching another Korean drama, because I’m addicted, called “Start-Up”. It is about three guys from a tech company that joins an internship program at a place like Google. As I watched the team work on their ideas and prepare their demo, I realized that this current season of not working has given me a great opportunity to plan ahead.

My goal for the next month or so, is to write 12 blog posts, 12 newsletters, and to create social media posts for March Madness (the annual tangle bracket I started a few years ago).

The topics I will cover in the blog and newsletter include:

K-Drama Korner

Craft Crossover – knitting, crochet, cross stitch

Mom Moments

Finding Faith/View from a Pew

Investing in Inspiration – highlighting IG posts from other artists

Tips for Tangling Through Trauma

I am looking forward to writing and hopefully you will join me in reading and commenting. If you would like to receive notifications about the blog or newsletter, please sign up using this link: sign up for newsletter

Thanks for reading!

Feeling Pursued… by Tangles

Grateful to the random yet not random conversation with a seasoned CZT Tangled Pursuits – Debbie N – https://withkoji.com/@Tangled.Pursuits

McHappy Day – Golden Arches to Joy

Just Be… Good Enough

When the shapes aren’t touching, I prayed for boundaries. When they are, I prayed for family. When they switch colours, I prayed to be encouraged. I chose a tangle I struggle with to pray that I would remember the experiences God has given to prepare me for each day and that I would trust Him with tomorrow.

Maybe you as a reader need to read today that you are good enough already. No need to prove it… just be.

Exploring Alcohol Markers

I needed to buy some alcohol markers in the gray scale for a Zentangle class in April…little did I know that it would open the door to a lot of exploration!

The first thing I had to do, yes had to, was organize the set I ordered into their numerical order. I may not put things back where I get them from but I love alphabetical and numerical ordering. It feels secure and safe. I had to get over that numbers were missing… And eventually I did.

I have since jumped in with two feet and am doing a Skillshare class to learn how to use these markers to their fullest. The image below is me trying to tackle the most difficult of the three shapes that were demonstrated – the sphere. Since my 4YO loves space and was sitting beside me, it was easy to figure out what to attempt. He was my art director with choosing colours and making sure I had every detail captured for the different planets and dwarf planets.

Stay tuned for more of my journey as an artist. I would love it of you commented on projects you have done using alcohol markers or a new media to you!

Learning How to Teach

One of the most interesting aspects of being a Certified Zentangle Teacher (CZT) is that you get to learn in order to teach. The journey of exploring Zentangle techniques is a wonder in itself… but as a CZT, I CAN translate my exploration into classes for others. Sometimes it works and sometimes it really does not.

One of the first group classes I taught, I had far too many tangles to teach in the time allotted, I was not at a strong level with the technology I was using, and I found myself impacted by the facial expressions of my students. It was not ideal, but the learning experience of it was exactly what I needed. From this experience, I learned that I do better with a whiteboard demonstration, adventurous students, and a flow-style class. I also learned that I need to set my students up for success by being confident, clear, and by sharing my heart and mind intentions. That brings me to the most recent class experience I wanted to share about – Maptangling with Fragments.

Class prep and demonstration pieces

You are allowed to say “Thank You”

I started by sharing my hopes for the time together, my appreciation for each student, and my rule. Golden Rule of a Tangled Artist Class: “You are allowed to say thank you. You are not allowed to put down your work.” I remind students that we often hear a compliment and our gut reaction is “But I could have… ” or “I should have this…” or “I wish it was…” Like in the scene from Wayne’s World shown below. Terry tells people he loves them all through the movie… Garth knows best – “Just say, ‘thank you'”.

Terry – “I love you man.”
Russel (Driver) – “I love you.”
Terry – “No you don’t man. I LOVE you man!”
Garth – “Just say ‘thank you.'”
Terry – “I love you man”
Russel (Driver) – “Thank you.”
Terry hugs Russel

For the record, I am the Terry in the above scene. During the pandemic, I have told more people that I love them than I have in my entire life! What I add to my golden rule is that the students can trust that I am genuine and honest with what I say. I will not compliment someone’s tangling or drawing in a fake way. In order to do this though, I need to treat myself the same way (the well-known golden rule).

From the rule and intentions I move into what they can expect from our time together in terms of instruction, technology, and learning outcome. This sounds dry but I have seen rest come over the student’s faces as I share what journey they are on with me. It also gives me a nudge to follow my schedule.

When you “just be” as an artist, beauty is found….

In this class I recently did, each student asked for what they needed throughout the time, I did multiple demonstrations on the whiteboard so they could choose their own colours and approach. As you can see below, the results were beautiful!

I had no idea while I was teaching what splash each student started with or what colours they were going to choose. For supplies I only encouraged that the pen choice be a darker version of the splash laid down.

The top image shows a student playing with three partnering colours on the wheel: yellow, green, blue

The bottom image shows a student letting the splash dictate what pen they chose to ensure that the original background colour choice was not lost.

Both show how unique each of us are and how beauty is created when we take a leap and “just be” as artists.

Consider taking a look at my class offerings and sign up here! Your leap towards seeing what beauty appears will be worth it!

Back to Journaling… transforming my mental health.

Just completed my first journal entry from the prompts I received from @chrissiemurphydesigns  through her Expressive List challege.

Transformation led to trauma which led to me looking up some verses which led to @youversion verse of the day which reminded me that God has been with me through every transformative trauma… as a place of safety in times of trouble. Psalm 59:16.

Woah. That was a lot to take in for me… but I’m grateful for the stone thrown into the pond of my mind and heart and the grace to see the ripples of pursuit.

I hope to continue journaling and need to remind myself that each time does not need to go deep, but it can. Below is a transcription in case you have trouble reading my writing

Transformation means becoming something or someone else at the end of the journey. It doesn’t have to be physical… it can be spiritual, emotional, or social. It means there is a clear difference. I find trauma to be one of the biggest triggers to transformation. I can’t be the same person I was before the trauma… I have been through something that transformed my world view, my self view, my God view… No matter how I long to go back, I can’t. I carry the experience forward and it is part of me… sometimes it hurts the new me, sometimes it blesses.
Romans 12:2b… “but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”
1 Corinthians 13:12 “for now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, but as I also have been fully known”

Hospitality – June 13, 2021

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When hearing some of the definitions of hospitality this morning… “to pursue…” and “befriending strangers”, I realized that these are some of the philosophies that shape me as a Certified Zentangle Teacher and ultimately who I am as a person.

It was in my college days when a friend told me I was a “pursuer”. She gave a word to fit the boldness that seemed to flow through me as I continuously got to know anyone who would make eye contact with me. Sometimes the pursuit would be reciprocated, but either way I pressed forward whether rejection was in my path or not.

This month is a minefield for me in terms of grief triggers. June captures the anniversary of when my father passed away, his birthday, and Father’s Day. This year, I am trying to intentionally remember good things and joyful rippling effects of my Dad’s life as a way to fill my tank for the possible onslaught of grief in the coming weeks.

This “befriending strangers” concept put my Dad’s face and life on my mind – I believe for a reason. He modeled for me regularly the same patterns I see in myself of talking to strangers with no fear of rejection and how to treat people. He treated anyone serving him as if they were the most important person in that moment. This is something I have done from a young age also and is something that has made Covid-19 restrictions difficult to walk through. Lately, I have been grateful that my husband and I have gone into grocery stores versus curbside pick-up so I can talk to cashiers and thank them for working so I could get what I needed. I had an awesome conversation with someone the other day about how the store was supporting McMaster Children’s hospital and why I wanted to donate. She was amazingly receptive to my chatter and even shared a small amount of her journey. Being honest, I stuttered as I am still re-learning how to talk to people outside of screen, but seeing the smile in her eyes and hearing her amusment, made the momentary pursuit absolutely worth it.

In the realm of teaching Zentangle, I think of the pursuit part as putting classes out into the world and seeing who needs them and then taking that opportunity to help people befriend strangers. Recently, I was able to teach my first “Broken Fragements” class with a completely random set of people. It was great to see what they had in common as we learned and tangled together. Though spread across the ocean and North America, we were united for 2 hours in the joy of each other’s company, individual inspiration, and the awareness that we may not have ever met if not for the pandemic pushing things to a virtual state.

I hope I can continue to see much more joy and rest in showing hospitality as a Certified Zentangle Teacher while continuing to see who is placed in my path as a person.